The Best Dad Jokes on the Internet

Short. Clean. Painfully punny. 643+ jokes your kids don't want to hear but absolutely need to.

Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.

😄 Dad Joke of the Day

Have you heard about the new corduroy pillows?

They're making headlines.

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🦝 Animal Dad Jokes 72 jokes 🍕 Food Dad Jokes 62 jokes 💼 Work & Office Dad Jokes 69 jokes 🎒 School & Teacher Dad Jokes 47 jokes ⚽ Sports Dad Jokes 38 jokes 💻 Tech & Computer Dad Jokes 33 jokes 👨‍👩‍👧 Family & Parenting Dad Jokes 50 jokes ⛅ Weather Dad Jokes 38 jokes 🚀 Space Dad Jokes 31 jokes ✈️ Travel & Vacation Dad Jokes 36 jokes 🎃 Halloween Dad Jokes 18 jokes 🎄 Christmas Dad Jokes 16 jokes 🚪 Knock-Knock Jokes 20 jokes 🎤 Dad Joke One-Liners 61 jokes 👻 Spooky Dad Jokes 21 jokes ⛄ Winter Dad Jokes 15 jokes 📜 Dad Jokes About History 16 jokes

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Fresh Out of the Dad Oven

Why did grandpa organize the vintage family photo album by decade?

He loved developing family memories that would never fade.

Why did the train conductor carry a vintage pocket watch on cross-country journeys?

He made sure every departure stayed on schedule and right on track.

Why was the database administrator always so calm during peak traffic hours?

He kept all his relations in order and never lost his index.

Why did the planetary geologist take so many notes on lunar craters?

She wanted to dig deep and make groundbreaking discoveries across the surface.

Why did the stone gargoyle refuse to leave his roost above the cathedral?

He had an unmatched vantage point and rock-solid tenure.

Why did the friendly phantom volunteer to organize the haunted mansion library?

He loved floating through dusty archives and lifting old spirits.

Why did the neighborhood snowblower get so much respect after the blizzard?

It really knew how to throw its weight around and clear a path.

Why did the winter hiker carry extra wool socks up the frozen ridge?

He wanted to start every icy ascent on warm footing.

Why was the ancient Roman stonemason always trusted on imperial aqueducts?

He never let the pressure get to him and always kept things channeling in the right direction.

Why did the Viking longship crew navigate so well through dense coastal fog?

They always knew how to let the tide turn in their favor.

Why was the family genealogist so proud of his research project?

He discovered that great traditions always have deep roots.

Why did the weather forecaster bring a barometer to the mountain climb?

She wanted to see what was brewing under pressure.

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What is a dad joke?

A dad joke is a short, clean, pun-based joke delivered with maximum confidence and zero shame. It's the kind of joke that makes your kids groan, your wife roll her eyes, and your dog leave the room. Science has yet to explain why hearing one makes you feel briefly smarter and visibly worse at the same time.

This site is a growing collection of the best dad jokes on the internet: one-liners, knock-knock jokes, and puns about animals, food, work, school, sports, tech, space and more. Every joke is family-friendly — the only thing at risk of injury is everyone's patience. Start with the dad joke generator, browse the categories, or come back every day for a new dad joke of the day.