Jokes that swing, dribble and score — straight from the sidelines. That's 38 jokes of pure dad energy.
Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants?
In case he got a hole in one.
Why did the bicycle fall over?
It was two-tired.
Why can't basketball players go on vacation?
They'd get called for traveling.
Why did the football coach go to the bank?
To get his quarterback.
What's a runner's favorite subject?
Jog-raphy.
Why did the soccer player bring string to the game?
So he could tie the score.
Why don't prisoners play tennis?
Too many serves.
Why did the baseball player get arrested?
He stole second base.
Why are basketball courts always wet?
Because the players dribble.
What's the difference between a bad golfer and a bad skydiver?
A bad golfer goes WHACK... dang! A bad skydiver goes dang!... WHACK.
I asked the marathon runner how the race went.
He said it was a long story.
What does a hockey player have in common with a magician?
Hat tricks.
Why was the baseball stadium so cool?
Because it was full of fans.
I told my personal trainer I wanted to learn to do the splits.
She asked: 'How flexible are you?' I said: 'I can't make Tuesdays.'
Why did the golfer bring an extra sock?
In case he got a hole in one.
Why are spiders such good baseball players?
They're great at catching flies.
What's a golfer's favorite bird?
Any bird that's a birdie.
Why don't grasshoppers watch soccer?
They prefer cricket.
Why did the bowling pins lie down?
They went on strike.
Why should you never play tennis with a pig?
They love a good racket.
Why are snails so bad at racing?
They are sluggish.
Why did the stadium get hot after the game?
Because all the fans left.
Why do fathers take an extra pair of socks when they go golfing?
In case they get a hole in one!
Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?
It was two tired.
Why don't blind people skydive?
Because it scares the dogs.
I was wondering why the basketball was getting bigger.
Then it hit me.
Why did the runner carry a pencil during the marathon?
To draw a line at the finish.
Why did the ballerina refuse to wear odd numbers on her jersey?
Because she was strictly committed to a tutu.
Why did the sourdough starter make such an inspirational coach?
It constantly encouraged the team to rise to the occasion.
Why did the relay race runner make a great diplomat?
She knew exactly when to pass the baton without dropping the ball.
Why did the stopwatch make such an inspiring athletic coach?
It knew every single second was a chance for a turnaround.
Why did the antique pendulum clock make such a great fitness coach?
It always kept everyone getting into the swing of things.
Why did the steamboat paddlewheel excel in marathon rowing?
It kept turning things around and never missed a stroke.
Why did the archer bring extra arrows to the championship match?
His nerves gave him a full-blown quiver.
Why did the curling team always stay composed during championship pressure?
They knew how to sweep tension aside and deliver under ice-cold conditions.
Why did the fencing champion always win tough corporate negotiations?
She knew how to parry every doubt and make a direct point.
Why did the alpine trail guide make such an inspiring leader on steep ascents?
Because he knew how to help everyone reach their peak without slipping up.
Why was the track coach thrilled with the team running over high hurdles?
Because they always rose above the competition.