Watercooler-worthy workplace jokes for the 9-to-5 groan. That's 26 jokes of pure dad energy.
Why did the scarecrow win an award?
He was outstanding in his field.
Why did the employee get fired from the calendar factory?
He took a couple of days off.
My boss told me to have a good day.
So I went home.
Why did the banker quit his job?
He lost interest.
I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.
It was sole destroying.
I got fired from the orange juice factory.
I couldn't concentrate.
What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the supply closet?
Supplies!
Why do employees drink so much coffee at work?
It's the weekend immune system that keeps them going.
I just got a job making clocks.
It's about time.
I used to be a tailor.
Turns out I wasn't suited for it.
I started a business making origami.
Unfortunately, it folded.
How's my job security?
Rock solid — nobody else wants it.
Why did the pencil get a promotion?
It was on point.
I asked my boss for a raise.
He said the elevator does that, and handed me a ladder.
Why do bakers work so hard?
Because they knead the dough.
I quit my job at the helium factory.
I refused to be spoken to in that tone.
I got a job feeding the giraffes at the zoo.
The pay is lousy, and it's a tall order.
Why did the calendar apply for the job?
It had a lot of dates.
Retirement is the best job I've ever had.
The pay is terrible, but the hours are great.
My boss said: dress for the job you want, not the job you have.
Now HR is asking why I came to work dressed as the boss.
Why did the penny get promoted?
It made perfect cents.
What do you call a rich fish?
A goldfish.
Why did the dollar bill break up with the coin?
It needed some change.
What happened to the man who put $20 into a vending machine?
Nothing — he's still waiting for his two cents.
Why was the money exhausted?
It was spent.
Where do cows invest their money?
In moo-tual funds.